'I Like to be Evil!'
'We Are Santa's Helpers'
'Santa's Secret Summer School'
ACT ONE: There’s a crisis at the North Pole where Santa Claus runs a summer school to train ‘Fairy Godmothers’ and ‘Wicked Witches’ for Christmas pantomimes all over the world. Elves are busy making toys for Christmas. (Opening chorus & dance: ‘We Are Santa’s Helpers’.) Widow Hanky, an ex-tooth Fairy, greets the new intake. Hanky’s nephew, Simon, is in love with Santa’s adopted daughter Cherry but is too shy to tell her. (Simon: ‘Sometimes’.) He wants to impress her by finding fame and fortune on the ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ TV show but doesn’t know what his talent is. Santa arrives rather depressed thinking he should start a new career because children don’t believe in him any more. (Santa: ‘Santa’s Lament’.) Hanky is blatantly in love with Santa. (Hanky: ‘Oh Santa’.) ‘Uncle’ Pete arrives with Clara, a magic cow, and her previous owner Kipper who says she can summon up a genie but he doesn’t know how. Clara dances for them. (Clara & others: ‘Clara’s Dance’.) Cherry, meets Pete, Kipper and Clara and goes off to help Kipper milk her. Pete tells Santa of his regrets at leaving Cherry. (Pete: ‘That’s Christmas to Me’.) Unaware of Simon’s feelings, Cherry dreams of the man she’ll marry. (Cherry: ‘The One I’ll Love’.) Morgana, leader of the Wicked Witches, is angry because she’s not being allowed to be as wicked as she would like to be. (Morgana: ‘I Like to Be Evil!’) Trixie is excited to see Kipper and Clara and he tells her to slow down and ‘Take Your Time’. Trixie, Honeydew and the other fairies join forces and try to call up the genie by singing and dancing. (Honeydew and the fairies: ‘Somewhere’.) Eventually, with Clara’s help, they succeed and Gordon, the genie, appears. (Genie’s music.) He is bad tempered but does grant Hanky, Simon and Santa each a wish. Hanky asks for a ‘sexy’ young man to help in the laundry, but he doesn’t fancy the job! Simon asks to discover his real talent so that he can become rich and famous and marry Cherry; he is offered a job as a judge on the TV talent show. Santa asks for an ‘elixir of youth’ but, unfortunately, it works too well and he reverts to being a baby! Worse still, the spell backfires on Cherry who becomes more and more masculine – like the son Santa always wanted. Morgana and the Witches see an opportunity to take over Christmas.
ACT TWO: The Wicked Witches, led by Morgana, march in and dance around a steaming cauldron casting magic spells. (‘Witches Song and Tap Dance’.) They decide that now Santa is a baby, they can take over Christmas and make life miserable for everyone - especially the children. The others hope to get the genie back and have him reverse the spells but they don’t know how to do it - and also he said he could only come once a century. Hanky is sad that fate has taken away the chance of her being with Santa. (‘Tell Me What Life’s About’.) Kipper thinks it’s all his fault and Trixie tries to cheer him up. (‘You Gotta Make the Most of What You’ve Got’.) Simon, now rich and famous, turns up driving a very expensive Rolls Royce convertible. He admits however that he’s fed up with life as a celebrity and that he’s missing Cherry and still wants to marry her. Pete tells him that that’s now impossible since Cherry, grief stricken, has disappeared. (‘Things Have Just Gone Wrong’.) They try to persuade Pete to take Clara back to the ‘Mystic East’ to find the secret of her magical powers, but they explain why that that’s not possible; in the process Pete discloses that he is Cherry’s father. Trixie asks the Fairy Godmothers for help. Cherry returns but Santa’s spell has rebounded on her and she now has a big black beard and moustache. Simon says he still loves her despite this and wants to marry her. They embrace, in the process kissing Clara who makes a massive effort and the genie reappears. Very reluctantly he agrees to reverse the spells. As a result Simon learns he’s been sacked and a policeman and a policewoman come to take his car away. The Policewoman is upset to learn that Santa doesn’t get any presents for himself and gets the audience to join in singing ‘Poor Santa! Cherry then reappears her normal, female, self and is reunited with Simon. Santa is restored as an adult, wishes everyone a happy Christmas and they all celebrate. (‘Clap Hands’.) Christmas is saved!
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